It’s been 6 years since my mother died. Six years might seem like a long time already, but even now, I can’t believe it’s already been that long since I last saw my mother alive. I’ve already been used to living my life without my real mother with me, but still when I’m alone not doing anything, I remember her, and I just start crying.
I know my father’s been really good, he’s been doing everything for us, and he’s not breaking his promise to my mother that he will take good care of us. But it’s still different when you have both parents with you, instead of just one. Just think, losing a leg and having prosthesis. Although it’s functional and you can live your life normally, that leg is lost forever, you know you lost a part of you, and your life will never ever be the same.
Whenever I see children with their mothers, I just feel so envious. I’ve always thought what life would have been like if my mother was still here with me. I’d always imagine her witnessing me graduating from medical school and fulfilling my dream, getting married and having a family of my own, spoiling my kids and taking care of them just like the way she took care of me and my sister. That would have been wonderful. Suddenly, reality sinks in, and I realize it’s simply impossible.
I wish she was still here with me. I’d give anything just to see her alive again and just be able to hug her again even just once.
But then, I also think, if my mother had still been alive, would I have realized how blessed I am to have my tatay? How wonderful a father he is? Maybe that’s what God’s plan was for taking away my mother away from me early. That even if I lost one parent, there still is another one who deserves all my love and respect, who is capable of taking care of me like the way my mother did, who will still be there to witness me fulfilling my dream of becoming a doctor, getting married and having a family of my own, spoiling my kids, and yes, even arguing with the other moms whose kids start bullying mine.
Funny how God thinks of ways for us to realize how blessed we are and how grateful we should be despite our problems, don’t you think?
I know you’re happy up there with Him, Nanay, and you’re still watching over us. I miss you.
I know my father’s been really good, he’s been doing everything for us, and he’s not breaking his promise to my mother that he will take good care of us. But it’s still different when you have both parents with you, instead of just one. Just think, losing a leg and having prosthesis. Although it’s functional and you can live your life normally, that leg is lost forever, you know you lost a part of you, and your life will never ever be the same.
Whenever I see children with their mothers, I just feel so envious. I’ve always thought what life would have been like if my mother was still here with me. I’d always imagine her witnessing me graduating from medical school and fulfilling my dream, getting married and having a family of my own, spoiling my kids and taking care of them just like the way she took care of me and my sister. That would have been wonderful. Suddenly, reality sinks in, and I realize it’s simply impossible.
I wish she was still here with me. I’d give anything just to see her alive again and just be able to hug her again even just once.
But then, I also think, if my mother had still been alive, would I have realized how blessed I am to have my tatay? How wonderful a father he is? Maybe that’s what God’s plan was for taking away my mother away from me early. That even if I lost one parent, there still is another one who deserves all my love and respect, who is capable of taking care of me like the way my mother did, who will still be there to witness me fulfilling my dream of becoming a doctor, getting married and having a family of my own, spoiling my kids, and yes, even arguing with the other moms whose kids start bullying mine.
Funny how God thinks of ways for us to realize how blessed we are and how grateful we should be despite our problems, don’t you think?
I know you’re happy up there with Him, Nanay, and you’re still watching over us. I miss you.
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