God's Hand

I was feeling bad since last night so I pulled out my box of letters trying to find words that would somehow comfort me. I just want to share this poem that my friend Nicky made in her letter for me for Days.

God's Hand

Sometimes we must be hurt in order to grow

We must fall in order to know

We must lose in order to gain

Some lessons are learned best only through pain

Sometimes our visions clear

Only after our eyes are washed with tears

Sometimes we have to be broken so we can be tender

Sick so we can rest and think better

On things more important than work or fun,

Trip near death so we can assess how we've run

Sometimes we have to suffer lack
So we can know God's provision

Feel another's pain

So we can have a sense of mission

So take heart, my friend, if you don't understand today

Instead of grumbling, ask God what he means to say

In order to learn you must endure

And learn to see the bigger picture

In order to grow, you must understand

Look beyond the hurt to God's loving hand

That takes what is good and gives what is best

And on this blessed though, rest

As your anxious heart, with questions, wails

God's hand only gives what His loving heart dictates.

It's a beauty. Thanks Nicky.

To all the people I have hurt, or offended, intentionally or unintentionally, I AM SORRY.

Ate Tina, I'm sorry.

To Bryan, I am sorry.

To you, know that this isn't something I wanted to happen. I have my share of faults, mistakes, stupidity, ignorance, and pride. But don't blame me for what happened. You're hurt I know. I know how it feels to be left alone by friends. But please, like what I did before, be humble enough to reach out and accept your mistakes. I know the things you said were a result of so much anger, and I would've accepted all things you said if you had a right reason to say all those. I hope you understand that I am just a person too, capable of getting hurt.

I never thought I'd say this, and this proves nothing more than I am a coward because I'm saying this in my blog, instead of telling you personally... but for the pain I have given you, the things I have said, and for my faults, I'm sorry.

I hope I'd be able to say that to you in person real soon. Yes I'm not ready. Just because I still have my pride to hinder me from doing that doesn't mean that sorry isn't heartfelt.

I hope this is the last time I cry over this.