So I was about to post a new entry last Saturday about what I’ve seen from the show Y Speak. My, my. Before, the usual topics concerning sex were either of two things: 1) whether pre-marital sex is acceptable or not, or 2) whether virginity matters or not anymore.
But the issue last Saturday was…. which should come first, love or sex. Yes, sex ba muna bago love, or love muna bago sex.
Shocked? Me too. What’s more shocking was that there were actually guests there and members of the audience who were brave enough to have their faces seen on national television, who actually believed that sex should come first before love. I mean, they believed in it so much that they went there to insist that they’re correct.
The guests who were pro-sex-before-love:
1. Justin Cuyugan – I think he believed more on the other argument. He didn’t speak much, and well, he’s a guy. His explanation for believing that sex should come first before love boils down to the fact that it’s a bonus for a guy to have sex with someone, no strings attached. They love sex, don’t they?
2. Jam – I forgot her last name, but she’s a courtside newscaster during basketball games on Studio 23. This girl was different. She even won the “Babaeng Palaban” award because of the way she actually defended her belief. I think she got really pikon with Christian Vasquez. She believes that sex should come first before love, but there is a transition as she calls it. Uh, does that mean you have sex with a guy without a commitment whatsoever, and you have sex with him and hope that develops into love? Well what if it doesn’t? She also upholds that a woman should first live-in with her partner before they get married.
3. Some member of “The Bodies” – uh, don’t have much to say about her opinion. Just think of how a nymphomaniac would reply when asked about this issue. Hehe. It was apparent that it’s okay to have sex with someone she doesn’t love because, sex is sex, and she enjoys it. Oh, one thing she said that cracked me up: “Mauna na muna ang sex bago love para pag di kayo nagkatuluyan, mas hindi masakit db?” Ehhh?
4. Criselda Volks – Hahaha. Read: “You can never get to know someone unless you actually have sex with him.” Wtf? What was she thinking? Bahala na kayo…
Another thing, one of their utmost points was that couples should be sexually compatible in order for the relationship to last. That there are couples who are very much in love, only to find out when they sleep together that they are not sexually compatible, then comes the reason for separation.
On the other hand, the guests who believed that love should come first before sex were Dimples Romana, Mel Soriano, some UP student, and Christian Vasquez. I was pretty surprised that Christian Vasquez belonged to this group, I mean, with his reputation and all in showbiz, being sexy and all that.
Okay, here’s my opinion on this topic, added with the opinions of the pro-love-before-sex guests.
1. If sex comes first before love, what makes us any different from animals?
2. Trial-and-error should not be applied with sex. Love is very hard to find. What if you were destined to meet your soulmate 10 years from now, and he’s from another country? Ahehe. You think of the scenario nalang.
3. Love should come first before sex, thus the term “making love”.
4. Sex is not a tool for finding love. It is a sacred act for procreation.
5. Sexual compatibility is not a guarantee that a relationship will last forever. Relationships are based on love, trust, understanding etc. etc., and not sex. When you get old and you can’t have sex anymore with your partner, love is the thing that will keep you together.
6. If you have sex with someone you don’t love, and you get pregnant, you only have two choices: 1) get married though you don’t love the guy, 2) raise the child on your own if marriage is not possible. Either way, kawawa yung bata.
7. If you’re a girl, I think you know that you’re lugi when sex comes first before love. And there’s always the risk of getting pregnant.
8. The pro-sex-before-love says these are the ideal ways of viewing love and sex. But in reality, the opposite happens: sex comes before love. Well it’s your choice whether to follow what most people are doing or not, right?
For me, marriage muna.
Call me santa santita or what, but that’s what I believe in. I have nothing against those other people having pre-marital sex, it’s their way of expressing their love. (But total ngek-ngek for those people having sex without love). It’s the best gift I can give to my future husband, because I saved myself for him, and it’s his best gift for me, because he waited and respected my decision.
Oh yeah, Criselda Volks quoted “It’s just a piece of paper” (marriage).
I am not yet married, and I am years away from being married. But I do want to get married someday.
I believe that when you get married to someone, it signifies how much you love that person that you are ready to give yourself to him and only him, that you are ready to face the challenges of married life, that you are willing to take the risk because there’s no guarantee that your marriage will be successful. It means that you are ready to have a family of your own, that you don’t think of yourself only anymore. I believe that marriage is the greatest way of professing your love to your partner because you choose to spend the rest of your life with him. And it’s great knowing that your partner also marries you for the exact same reasons you have. That he’s also just as willing to take the risk of getting married though there’s no guarantee that the relationship will last forever.
Oh, to make that even clearer, I am posting some words I got from Mon's blog, which were said by the husband of his friend’s sister’s.
when i proposed to mai, i was frequently asked these three questions: are you sure?, how do you know? and are you nervous?. i answer the first two questions with this. you can never be too sure or too certain about marrying someone. but you can always have faith, and i think some things are best left to faith. faith in that you made the right choice. faith in that things will last forever. and maybe even longer. but most of all, there should be faith in the person you married. she is there, just as unsure as you, but just as faithful. have faith in love uniting two souls.for the third question, my answer is no, i haven't been nervous for the past six months (of the engagement). while it is true that this is the hardest and scariest decision a guy can make, it should very well be the easiest also. knowing that i love her is reason enough to commit my life to her.
Sweet, huh?
Now, is it just a piece of paper?
But the issue last Saturday was…. which should come first, love or sex. Yes, sex ba muna bago love, or love muna bago sex.
Shocked? Me too. What’s more shocking was that there were actually guests there and members of the audience who were brave enough to have their faces seen on national television, who actually believed that sex should come first before love. I mean, they believed in it so much that they went there to insist that they’re correct.
The guests who were pro-sex-before-love:
1. Justin Cuyugan – I think he believed more on the other argument. He didn’t speak much, and well, he’s a guy. His explanation for believing that sex should come first before love boils down to the fact that it’s a bonus for a guy to have sex with someone, no strings attached. They love sex, don’t they?
2. Jam – I forgot her last name, but she’s a courtside newscaster during basketball games on Studio 23. This girl was different. She even won the “Babaeng Palaban” award because of the way she actually defended her belief. I think she got really pikon with Christian Vasquez. She believes that sex should come first before love, but there is a transition as she calls it. Uh, does that mean you have sex with a guy without a commitment whatsoever, and you have sex with him and hope that develops into love? Well what if it doesn’t? She also upholds that a woman should first live-in with her partner before they get married.
3. Some member of “The Bodies” – uh, don’t have much to say about her opinion. Just think of how a nymphomaniac would reply when asked about this issue. Hehe. It was apparent that it’s okay to have sex with someone she doesn’t love because, sex is sex, and she enjoys it. Oh, one thing she said that cracked me up: “Mauna na muna ang sex bago love para pag di kayo nagkatuluyan, mas hindi masakit db?” Ehhh?
4. Criselda Volks – Hahaha. Read: “You can never get to know someone unless you actually have sex with him.” Wtf? What was she thinking? Bahala na kayo…
Another thing, one of their utmost points was that couples should be sexually compatible in order for the relationship to last. That there are couples who are very much in love, only to find out when they sleep together that they are not sexually compatible, then comes the reason for separation.
On the other hand, the guests who believed that love should come first before sex were Dimples Romana, Mel Soriano, some UP student, and Christian Vasquez. I was pretty surprised that Christian Vasquez belonged to this group, I mean, with his reputation and all in showbiz, being sexy and all that.
Okay, here’s my opinion on this topic, added with the opinions of the pro-love-before-sex guests.
1. If sex comes first before love, what makes us any different from animals?
2. Trial-and-error should not be applied with sex. Love is very hard to find. What if you were destined to meet your soulmate 10 years from now, and he’s from another country? Ahehe. You think of the scenario nalang.
3. Love should come first before sex, thus the term “making love”.
4. Sex is not a tool for finding love. It is a sacred act for procreation.
5. Sexual compatibility is not a guarantee that a relationship will last forever. Relationships are based on love, trust, understanding etc. etc., and not sex. When you get old and you can’t have sex anymore with your partner, love is the thing that will keep you together.
6. If you have sex with someone you don’t love, and you get pregnant, you only have two choices: 1) get married though you don’t love the guy, 2) raise the child on your own if marriage is not possible. Either way, kawawa yung bata.
7. If you’re a girl, I think you know that you’re lugi when sex comes first before love. And there’s always the risk of getting pregnant.
8. The pro-sex-before-love says these are the ideal ways of viewing love and sex. But in reality, the opposite happens: sex comes before love. Well it’s your choice whether to follow what most people are doing or not, right?
For me, marriage muna.
Call me santa santita or what, but that’s what I believe in. I have nothing against those other people having pre-marital sex, it’s their way of expressing their love. (But total ngek-ngek for those people having sex without love). It’s the best gift I can give to my future husband, because I saved myself for him, and it’s his best gift for me, because he waited and respected my decision.
Oh yeah, Criselda Volks quoted “It’s just a piece of paper” (marriage).
I am not yet married, and I am years away from being married. But I do want to get married someday.
I believe that when you get married to someone, it signifies how much you love that person that you are ready to give yourself to him and only him, that you are ready to face the challenges of married life, that you are willing to take the risk because there’s no guarantee that your marriage will be successful. It means that you are ready to have a family of your own, that you don’t think of yourself only anymore. I believe that marriage is the greatest way of professing your love to your partner because you choose to spend the rest of your life with him. And it’s great knowing that your partner also marries you for the exact same reasons you have. That he’s also just as willing to take the risk of getting married though there’s no guarantee that the relationship will last forever.
Oh, to make that even clearer, I am posting some words I got from Mon's blog, which were said by the husband of his friend’s sister’s.
when i proposed to mai, i was frequently asked these three questions: are you sure?, how do you know? and are you nervous?. i answer the first two questions with this. you can never be too sure or too certain about marrying someone. but you can always have faith, and i think some things are best left to faith. faith in that you made the right choice. faith in that things will last forever. and maybe even longer. but most of all, there should be faith in the person you married. she is there, just as unsure as you, but just as faithful. have faith in love uniting two souls.for the third question, my answer is no, i haven't been nervous for the past six months (of the engagement). while it is true that this is the hardest and scariest decision a guy can make, it should very well be the easiest also. knowing that i love her is reason enough to commit my life to her.
Sweet, huh?
Now, is it just a piece of paper?
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